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A couple of times before the end of the day I watched a few minutes, but my emotions were nothing like the day before. I honestly don’t think I could have coped emotionally with another day like Saturday. Part of me wondered if my change in feelings was the mind’s natural defense mechanism against trauma and overload. I think it was this ‘cut-out’ mechanism working in tandem with my hopes for what Monday would bring.A couple of times, a little voice would tell me that my hopes for Monday might just be so much hot air. Hopes built on sand, rather than rock. But I chose to believe the opposite. I’m honestly not sure I could have coped with a more nuanced and realistic level of optimism. I chose to look at a half-full glass as if it was totally full. The thought of a half-empty glass and five or six more days like Saturday was something I daren’t even think about.And when I did tune in, when I saw the two of them just snuggling and being close, I felt my anger and self-righteousness. "Yes,"was the reply. "She's a beauty, isn'tshe? Makeup on her nipples. And on her inner labia. I want them to show up wellin the spotlights." A hand molded her breast, teasing her stiff nipple."God, she's beautiful. Not too much morphine, all right? I don't want hergoing zombie at the wrong moment. Nice musculature. She's going to bespecial." ?? A face leaned close, between the brightlights and her eyes, a pretty black woman. "Well, you're awake. That'sfine. You relax now, and everything is going to be fine. You're going to bepart of our show tonight. Just take it as it comes, and any embarrassment ordiscomfort will all come to an end soon." ??? Diana felt flushed and disoriented. Thegreedy mouth at her sex had? ceased to bea lewd intrusion; she welcomed it, and savored the wash of pleasure from thewoman's deeply lapping tongue at her vulva, the hands stroking her body,teasing her turgid nipples. She was uncertain where she was, or why;consciousness came and went. ??? Bright lights.
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